Welcoming September

It’s September – time is changing rapidly and we are not going to stop it. My high point of 2014 so far has nothing so important. Work has been really busy and will bring me in a new management structure (well the same thing happens almost every year) and my relationship still the same nothing special – always stuck and I felt everything went wrong . This year has been a real situation, 2 my best friend has passed away. Fair to say it’s been surreal for me. I can honestly say a lot of pressure around me, I just need a little space to decompress – just to detach from reality and chill. And suddenly for the first time – I thought so many things I have never done since I was young . In that respect it was a bit of a non event – I did go shopping and get some new clothes though.
And here are the other notable things I did for today (I took one day off today) :
- Grab a coffee and enjoy the day

- Gaming – yeah for some reason I became a gaming addict

- I have been in photography almost one year (still learning by doing) starting with a pocket camera and now I have this dSLR camera – Fujifilm X-S1, today I cleaned up my camera and collect all the pic on my laptop and update my picture

- Synchronization – yes, it’s crazy and at the same time its really annoying. I like to have little pics by people names on my contact list – I hate having contact without pictures! So I try to have them in my phone book next to every entry. I have an ever increasing list of people I really want to see, the people I don’t see enough and I wonder did I just know too many people? Some from across country – miles away from me, even those close to me. Well, organizing contacts whilst not really efficient makes me at least feel a bit more organized and tidy 

So lets keep my finger crossed for this month, everything should be better – even many worst thing was happening but there’s always a good thing waiting to happen…..

Stressful Day


I thought everyone at one time in work life has or will deal with a bad boss. And to be honest, this season I had a bad boss. Many companies have at least one person who is hard to deal with and often it’s the boss. And the problem with the boss can affect our self esteem and confidence. Boss is a person who is in charge of employees. Good bosses will have good communication between their employees, but bad boss is like the worst nightmare of all employees.
My boss, instead of facing the workday with excitement – he always blames based leadership. He loses temper and get angry when we can deal with his creditors. He may not realize how bad he is. He speaks loudly and rudely and always tell us to figure it on his own and will not support us.
How do I deal with the bosses? I can’t directly say that his temper is bad. I assumed that everything he is doing is attempting to stay unseen for who they are and what they are doing. There’s no point in trying with people who are like this. The more abuse I give them, the more I argue with them – the happier and more powerful he will become. Nothing I do or say will help them or change them.
Well…. For this season I am working under a bad and difficult boss. And it’s making me going to work everyday is an extremely stressful experience. What should I do? Let’s face it! Yes face with the right attitude. And if the last thing is not working is walk away. Well, if my boss’s behavior is as unreasonable as ever… I will leave my position. Time to change…. Life is stressful enough without having to live every day in fear of unpredictable and bad temper boss.
Sometimes I just need a little space…. Stressful day has been achieved :(

Why You Ignore Me?


Why you ignore me?
Tell me if you hate me
Tell me if you didn’t want to talk Tell me if you need to take a break
Please tell me, don’t ignore me
I can’t hate you
I can’t say that you are the reason for my pain
No…. no…. maybe is entirely my fault
I know you never love me
I only the back up plan and the second choice, right?
But a small part of me must have hoped
And now I hate being me
Can you pretend to be nice?
Pretend to like me? Pretend as if I’m with you now?
Allowed as if I was there
And pretend to listen?
Please don’t ignore me……it hurts!
I just want a response, my
feelings ain’t died
Respect my feelings even only for a while
Was this a mistake?



Lonely nights…. Mindlessly lost in my own thoughts
Yet, my fantasies are aware and running
Sitting in the silence and I wish I could go back to change anything
Memories crushed through the brain
But I’m too naive and young and afraid to say it
When I think back, I should dare to say it
I tell myself all the words I surely meant to say
But I couldn’t do it, leave unsaid unspoken
We both know our limitations and it haunts me whenever I go
It was hard and now everyone know it
It’s becoming too late when everything goes to far but we can’t turn back
And I will never have the chance to let you know
Let you know that when I look at you – I get the feeling
I should hold on but I didn’t
Now I’m losing love, losing you and losing everything