Why? Why?


I never found an answer on this question: “Why people do hurt if they love?”

All relationship especially loves or married relationships are meaningful. Nobody likes to say goodbye or being stuck in relationship or broke up. When we fall in love, we tend to give our all to our partner. So when they hurt or leave us, our body and soul dies. It’s sad that this pain is unexplainable. It’s always about the pain, when the one you love makes you hurt.

Something popped in my mind that early or late, the end comes inevitably…… and even the happy ending is unhappy for ending!

Well is tricky matter and every relationship is complicated things.
And today I let myself to be numb – the minds and heart, so the others not be bothered!

My Online Presence


I haven’t blogged much this time, the last post I wrote was in May. For some reason I’ve taken my blogging offline because a lot has been going on with my life.  Frankly I don’t want to delete this blog, because for some reason this blog say a lot about who I am.  But from now on – I have to be a bit careful because the internet is became a bad place – lately to many spammer, blackmail and too many unwanted ads on Google browser.  Internet is a good place with many information but it’s also full of the danger,  so we must be wise, be mindful  and careful when we used it.  And of course I need for a little bit of privacy now!  I just wonder how many times I got some spam mail on my mail list and it’s really annoying!

I have been fairly honest and open when I wrote for my blog – this blog was one of my expeditions into openness, but lately people snooping around jumping to half conclusion.  I’m will not stopping at the blog, I will be back when I have a good mood and a good time.

I still like internet world, I still like to socialize trough the internet and I have an increasing list of people on my contact list – people I really want to see and people I don’t see enough.  And sometimes   I wonder did I just know too many people? Yeah it’s fair to say I know quiet few people in quiet few countries, that close friend but we never seeing each other in real and some is the friends I lost contact with them.  But tonight I have a free time and I clean up my contact list.  I just delete some people from my contact list that I haven’t spoken with.  Yeah sorry to say that some contact is not important contact and I know how to find equally important contact that will embrace me all the time.  I keep my contact for a really great people, a people who have helped me into the person I am today.  Even I know they had a busy life too but I know we’ll never really lose contact and always know how to connect each other (thanks for being there for me).

I’ve already disable my Facebook account because I don’t often use it and I’m going to reduce my online presence for a while now.  But I will keep my profile in Twitter, Linkedin and Instagram.  And the last is I will keep blogging when I have a good time and good mood.  Hmmmm I will probably think of something else…….

Love in Vain


Sometimes it happens
I looked at you, but you didn’t see
I called your name, but you didn’t hear
I tried again but still not getting the respond from you
I offered all I had, but you didn’t accept
Your face makes me weak
My heart is empty, my heart is so sore
I tried to give my true love
Unconditional love, but you didn’t see it
You numbly and didn’t see it
Selfish thought ran across my mind
My tears flow now
I crawl up in the corner and hide
I wish you could see my sadness
I wish you can take away my vain
But time passes by and now I realize there’s no love from you
The sweet love replaced with emptiness
Now my foolish heart awakes
Pained with the reality that your love was empty
And you left me without words only a vain!

Mass Effect – Music Effect

There is a huge difference in the quality of music versus the music of today. There are some tracks that so beautiful and makes me wish I can play this kind of music….. I have listened to this one over and over, I can feel the emotion and I must admit it that this music is pretty awesome  and has such energy that it touches the darkest of my soul!

The music was from a game – Mass Effect 3. I don’t play this game, but honestly I enjoy the music. The Mass Effect was a good game for every gamer – a lot of work goes into this games: music, character and the story development. And the craziest effect of playing this kind of games is you can give a lot of your life/time only for playing this game.

Gaming is an addiction and the music are part of it ;).