Me Time


It’s a day when I came home from work, there was a time when I coming back to an empty house. For me the empty house would fill me with some pleasure.  It’s like some luxurious in the extra and happily breathe in the peace & quiet when you had a hard day (especially the load of works and facing traffic jam everyday). Just alone, nobody at house who communicating with me!!

So, finding myself alone at home, what should I do? I love being by myself. I grew up in an empty house and I like my own company. I turn off my mobile phone. No rings, no beeps and no calls, no email, no text, no notifications. A silent phone and nobody I care to call – just me by myself! I turn my CD – choose my playlist and I grab one book. Two hour later, I realize it’s dark and I put the book down, must be dinner time… I’m starving!

In the lonely hours like that – I don’t feel sorry for myself. It’s a huge difference about being alone and being lonely. I’m busy too and like to socialize; I have friends and long term lover. I really not alone, but I need some space and I like my lonely time.  Life can be really simple.  Some people choose to make life more complex. For me is more important to appreciate what we have in the moment – counting the blessing because our life can change in the second!

Being alone can be some advantage and now is time for enjoy me time……

“Sometime is good to be alone, but it is rarely good to be lonely” (unknown quotes)

Enough is Enough


This is my story, this is my past…… This was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make, but I knew that it was that I needed to do in order to find true happiness. It broke my heart, the journey of sadness!

I’ve been dating with someone, we both separated by a distant (four hours away).  Everything was fine at the first. I was doing fine with the distant and trying to manage the relationship. But there’s a moment when everything goes through rough times. He has a busy life, managing his business and always traveled across the country to do his job. We keep in touch trough the text, phone call and sometimes make a time to seeing each other.  I do fine with this and he is too. But it’s became rough when he is in busy, hectic, tiredness and the business is not fine. And at the other day I woke up and felt like something was missing in our relationship – its weird feeling. The issues in our relationship was became a hug issues. Don’t get me wrong, the issues have been brought up to him several times before, the simple issue is about communication sometimes he said that I text him too much! I know every time he had a rough time, he never replay me back – but is okay, I tried to understand. And the most issue is about married – before we started the relationship I told him that I needed certain things to make it work (do more things as a couple, future marriage and having children) and he agree about it.  Well… when you’re in love – a relationship can be a great “comfort zone” but it can be “discomfort zone” when things not doing right. As I’m feeling very sad & depressed over my decision to end my relationship, but I know in my mind I made the right decision. I had made so many excuses with this condition even though my heart knew what kind of pain it would be in when I make the decision. I finally left and I left him without told him, he sent me some text and makes a phone call!  Sad and anger was filling me up, I never replayed and picking up his phone.  I knew without a shadow of a doubt, enough is enough! I’m broken heart but if I stayed I would lost all of myself worth.

There is no turning back this time. Nothing is permanent – no matter how tightly – how hard I stand & hold onto that relationship is over. That relationship became rough & hurtful.  I felt like a fool because I love him before, I put some hope, gave him strength in himself, made him laugh, shared the joy and laugh, and shared him many things. It’s always complicated when we talked about love and feeling, but enough is enough now.  I was doing the right thing!

Thanks for reading my stories, wishing you have a great day.

Why? Why?


I never found an answer on this question: “Why people do hurt if they love?”

All relationship especially loves or married relationships are meaningful. Nobody likes to say goodbye or being stuck in relationship or broke up. When we fall in love, we tend to give our all to our partner. So when they hurt or leave us, our body and soul dies. It’s sad that this pain is unexplainable. It’s always about the pain, when the one you love makes you hurt.

Something popped in my mind that early or late, the end comes inevitably…… and even the happy ending is unhappy for ending!

Well is tricky matter and every relationship is complicated things.
And today I let myself to be numb – the minds and heart, so the others not be bothered!

My Online Presence


I haven’t blogged much this time, the last post I wrote was in May. For some reason I’ve taken my blogging offline because a lot has been going on with my life.  Frankly I don’t want to delete this blog, because for some reason this blog say a lot about who I am.  But from now on – I have to be a bit careful because the internet is became a bad place – lately to many spammer, blackmail and too many unwanted ads on Google browser.  Internet is a good place with many information but it’s also full of the danger,  so we must be wise, be mindful  and careful when we used it.  And of course I need for a little bit of privacy now!  I just wonder how many times I got some spam mail on my mail list and it’s really annoying!

I have been fairly honest and open when I wrote for my blog – this blog was one of my expeditions into openness, but lately people snooping around jumping to half conclusion.  I’m will not stopping at the blog, I will be back when I have a good mood and a good time.

I still like internet world, I still like to socialize trough the internet and I have an increasing list of people on my contact list – people I really want to see and people I don’t see enough.  And sometimes   I wonder did I just know too many people? Yeah it’s fair to say I know quiet few people in quiet few countries, that close friend but we never seeing each other in real and some is the friends I lost contact with them.  But tonight I have a free time and I clean up my contact list.  I just delete some people from my contact list that I haven’t spoken with.  Yeah sorry to say that some contact is not important contact and I know how to find equally important contact that will embrace me all the time.  I keep my contact for a really great people, a people who have helped me into the person I am today.  Even I know they had a busy life too but I know we’ll never really lose contact and always know how to connect each other (thanks for being there for me).

I’ve already disable my Facebook account because I don’t often use it and I’m going to reduce my online presence for a while now.  But I will keep my profile in Twitter, Linkedin and Instagram.  And the last is I will keep blogging when I have a good time and good mood.  Hmmmm I will probably think of something else…….